it’s super cold, rainy and dreary. the “i don’t wanna get out of bed” kind of weather. the “bad mood” weather. the worst weather. the “summer come back to me i miss you” weather.
it’s also super duper quiet in milly tonight. and i can hear the lord just a bit louder in this moment.
i love talkin to him; listening, eh not so much. i’ve felt distant from him for the past couple of weeks — not because he’s a distant father, but because i tend to be a distant daugther. but without fail, he’s always there. in the same exact spot, just waiting for me to run to him and tell him all about my day. he loves the details. he wants to hear about the best parts, and the worst parts. he’s ALWAYS on time. ALWAYS reliable. ALWAYS present. such a comforting feeling to know my Father holds me, even when i try to run or set him on the shelf for a few weeks.
he’s always teaching me something. tonight — it’s letting go.
i feel like i try to hold it all in my clenched, full, sweaty hands. and when He says, “sam, give it to me, walk away, say no.” “I’ve got it, im good, let me handle it, i know the situation better than you.” i say. i just picture Jesus belly laughing at that response. thinkin i know myself better than my creator does. lol.
so when he asks you to surrender, do just that — surrender. because He knows you, oh so well.
if you need a sweet reminder of that, go listen to “you know me” by steffany gretzinger.
- he knows who you need when you need them.
- he knows what season you’re about to walk through. he knows just precisely how to prepare you for that specific season. let Him prepare you the way He see’s best fit.
- he knows whether or not you should be with that boy.
- he knows whether or not that should be your major.
- he knows whether or not that friendship is gonna last or not.
- he knows the grade that you are going to get in that class before you even step foot in that class!!!!
- he knows your anxious heart, and he knows just how to handle it all. what a beautiful thing.
- he knows just how to comfort us.
- he knows. he knows. he knows.
so let him know and be still. let him hold you and be still. let yourself implicity trust your Father, your creator, your dad.
and when he takes — praise him. when there’s so much going on, it feels like a whirlwind is going on all around you — rest. when you’re drained — let him hold you, let him fill you back like only He can. because when we try to fill ourselves back up, we end up right back where we started, unfulfilled, exhausted, sweaty hands, way in over our heads, weak, and completely crippled.
and the funny thing is, you probably will have absolutely no idea what He’s doing, but that’s the best thing about trust. trust him when you’re so confused, when you look around and think “Jesus, i don’t get it, but you do, and because of that, i will be okay.”
psalm 62:7-8: “trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.”
at all times. at all times. at all times. trust in him at all times. a commandment, not a question, not a suggestion.